The Difference between Proud and Pride

Today Corey said he was proud of me. He always says sweet things, but I usually have a hard time accepting them and shake them off as him teasing me or his way of making me laugh. It was different today. It made me feel very special, something that I don't always allow myself to feel or let people make me feel. It was very unexpected considering the conversation we were having had nothing to do with that context. When things are said out of the ordinary or words are spoken out of context, you hear it and feel it more than something part of a casual conversation.



So my question is why can't any other compliment feel just same? Is it my pride? It makes me uncomfortable to receive a compliment. "I don't deserve them, so stop giving" - is what I'm always thinking. For as long as I can remember, I've never been one to accept and embrace a compliment, no matter what was said or what it was about.



There is only one person I really strive to hear a compliment from and if my memory fails me, then I failed that person, but as I pick my brain, I can't come up with anything. Is it this individual's pride stopping them from saying a single nice word or am I striving for the unobtainable. I know I need to look within myself and I don't need anyone's ego boosting phrases to make me who I am, but when you're all you've had, you get bored of yourself.

...And I'm Bored...

Please bare with me as I attempt my first BLOG in oh so many years. Remember xanga? Whatever happend to that?!

Corey's been off since Friday..somekind of worker's comp BULLony, but lucky for me, things are getting done around here. It's been 3 months in the works and it's coming out B-E-A-Utifully! New light fixtures have replaced old and outdated ones, some have just been permanently removed and also some new designs have been attached to the wall.

Maybe he'll get around to replacing a few old biscuit-colored light switches with shiny new white ones and finally put up my curtains (my first project still not completed), but I won't push my luck! I'm grateful for what he's done thus far. And he cooks me dinner. Not ordinary dinner. AWESOME dinner.

I was blessed to get the day off yesterday (thanks to columbus' big discovery!) and we decided to take advantage of it by going on a short lived fishing trip. I was on 12 hours worth of Dremamine and couldn't feel the boat a-rockin' until we got out to the deep blue sea. It wasn't pleasant to say the least, but Corey was kind enough to call it a day and bring us back in. As we were docking the boat and I was trying to get a hold of the pier, a big gust of wind slammed the boat and my arm into the concrete pier and I now have the battle wounds to prove it and the boat...not looking to good either. Some body work is needed and he's not too happy about it.

So if anyone is creative, we're looking for a name for the boat. Any suggestions would be appreciated. My name in any way, shape, or form is not an option because I said so. But my suggestion was Black C. He thinks its too cheesy.... Take a look at her and tell me what you think.

AWESOME dinner is ready and I'm hungry....